Ann Gables: Ace Attorney
by Chicken Yuki
Summary: Court is in session. Reputed Lawyer Muffy Monroe is working for Griffin to sue the Harvest Moon Record Company for a song that should be credited to the middle-aged singer. But Rookie Attorney Ann Gables stands in their way with her secret weapon...
1. Cornered

_Disclaimer: Harvest Moon and its characters is a property of Natsume._

_And this piece is parodying a South Park scene. Enjoy._

* * *

**Harvest Moon**

**Ann Gables: Ace Attorney**

Court is in session. In this case, the famous Harvest Moon Record Company is counter-suing Bar-owner and amateur artist Griffin Bradley harassment and falsified claim over one their hit songs performed by Pop Sensation Lilly Andrews. Representing Griffin is Muffy Monroe, an experienced blonde lawyer with a respectable reputation and a decent win count under her belt. Representing the Defense is up-and-coming hotshot attorney, Ann Gables, who has garnered attention from the judicial world thanks to her impressive winning streak.

At this point, the Prosecution was making its last point.

"Ladies and gentleman of the jury, might I direct you this very tape, proving once and for all that my client, Griffin Bradley, did indeed write the music for "Griffin Blues". In this tape shows a record, from exactly 10 years ago, where my client was performing the piece long before Harvest Moon came out with the album." Muffy began.

The video revealed a younger, clean shaved Griffin as he performed the song in question. It was also of home video quality and listed the proper date of the claim. As it played on, Muffy reached for a piece of evidence by her briefcase, and unraveled it to reveal a musical sheet.

"Not only that, but this sheet of notes, properly analyzed in the lab to be written my client at the time in question, match lyric by lyric, note by note, Ms. Andrew's new hit song. If that's not enough to convince you, take note at the song's name itself. It seems that while they couldn't afford to be generous enough to credit my client in writing the song, they were careless enough in removing his name from the title. With all of this cold, hard, evidence that refute any of Harvest Moon's claims, you should have no choice but to acknowledge my client's rights in owning the song. That is all." Muffy finished.

With her argument eloquently stated, the satisfied lawyer strode proudly back to her client.

"Okay, after everything presented, there's no way the company can support their falsified claims any further. This case is ours." Muffy assured Griffin.

The middle-aged client let out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks, missy. You really did a great job out there." Griffin complimented.

"Why your welcome, Mr. Bradley. But I do this to make sure that true Justice wins out in the end." She replied.

At the high chair, Judge Thomas looked thoroughly impressed by Muffy's presentation.

"Well Ms. Monroe, it looks like you've presented very substantial evidence for your client's case. This all certainly substantiates your client's claim to the song." Judge Thomas noted. "At this point, it seems the defense is loosing ground. Ms. Gables, you have one last chance to offer something for the defense. Please present your closing statement."

At once, the red-head lawyer in blue got up with a rolled-up chart on a stand and a very confident grin. She then took her position and stood up her chart properly before she began her last argument.

"Ladies and gentlemen of this _supposed_ jury, Griffin's attorney would certainly want you to believe that his client wrote "Griffin Blues" ten years ago. And they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself! But, ladies and gentlemen of this _supposed_ jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider" she began.

Ann then unraveled the chart to reveal a photograph depicting a mass of white hair with black, beady eyes.

"Ladies and gentlemen, _this_ is Mukumuku. Mukumuku is a Yeti from the Mountains. But Mukumuku _lives_ by the Goddess Pond. Now think about it; _that does not make sense_!"

In reaction to this ploy, Muffy slammed her hands on her desk and growled furiously.

"Damn it!" she uttered under her breath.

Griffin gave his lawyer a very confused look.

"What?"

"She's using the Mukumuku Defense!" Muffy snarled.

"Why would a Yeti, an eight-foot tall Yeti, want to live by the Goddess Pond, with a bunch of 5-inch tall Harvest Sprites? That does _not make sense!_ But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? "Ann continued.

Silence filled the air as the audience of the court pondered her statement.

"Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It _does not make sense! _Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Mukumuku! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does _not make sense!_ If Mukumuku lives by the Goddess Pond, you must acquit! The defense rests."

The crowd was sent into a sudden uproar after this last ditch effort, but then Judge Thomas quelled it with a few bangs of his gavel.

"Order, order in the court! You make an interesting point, Ms. Gables, but with that being said, the jury will now have to reach a decision. We will reconvene shortly in order to hand out the verdict." Judge Thomas announced.

Moments later, the Judge and Jury returned to hand out the verdict as promised.

"Griffin Bradley, this court hereby finds you Guilty of harassment, and sentences you to either a fine of 1,000,000 paid to the Harvest Moon Record Company, or a bajillion years in prison."

"Um… sir? "Bajillion" isn't even a real number." Bailiff Harris pointed out.

"Oh. Well then, instead, that later condition is changed to 10 years. Court is adjourned." Judge Thomas announced.

The executive producers of the Harvest Moon Record Company gave a cheer and a holler for her decisive victory, while a disappointed Griffin hung his head in shame. As everyone prepared to leave the courtroom behind, an incredibly mad Muffy was held back desperately by her client just as a thoroughly pleased Ann was about to make her exit.

"YOU…. YOU SHAMELESS SCOUNDREL!" Muffy shouted. "YOU JUST CONDEMNED AN INNOCENT MAN, AND NOW HE'S ON THE VERGE OF BANKRUPCY BECAUSE OF IT!! HOW DARE YOU?!"

In response, the victorious attorney turned around with an obnoxiously smug grin on her face.

"Hey, according to the law, that's not the case at all. Your point is moot. But you know what really matters? I won again!" Ann replied, "Yay me!"

With that said, Ann left alongside her new business buddies in the Harvest Moon Record Company while feeling very happy with herself.

"I think I should give Mukumuku a call and invite him over to the shrimp cocktail party later today. I owe him for yet another win, after all." Ann quipped merrily… Or did she?

And thus, the courtroom door slammed loudly behind them, leaving a thoroughly enraged Muffy and a hopeless Griffin behind.

"Ann… Ann…ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!"

It is said that the once dignified lawyer's scream could be heard throughout the entire city that day.

Later that night, the Shrimp Cocktail Party in honor of Ann Gable's recent victory was held as promised at the Harvest Moon Record Company's lavish party room. Some sources say a rather large fellow covered entirely in white was spotted at the party, supposedly helping itself to endless pounds of shrimp…

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_Author's Notes: And so, what is the moral of the story? Apparently, we can't always expect real justice to win out in the end… :whistles: But that's life, and at least this give me the opportunity to write a rather bizarre court parody. And Ann is supposed to be the titular "protagonist" of the story. Hm… maybe I should've included some obvious Phoenix Wright references just for the heck of it. I mean, Muffy's freakout at the end isn't obvious enough.  
_

_Alright, coming up should be an alternate ending to the whole affair. Sadly, it won't be much in the way of quantity, but if you've been looking up Youtube Videos, it just might make sense._


	2. Objection!

_**-Alternate Ending-**_

Moments later, the Judge and Jury returned to hand out the verdict as promised.

"Griffin Bradley, this court hereby finds you Guilty of harassment, and sentences you to either a fine of 1,000,000 paid to the Harvest Moon Record Company, or a bajillion years in prison."

"Um… sir? "Bajillion" isn't even a real number." The bailiff pointed out.

"Oh. Well then, instead, that later condition will be 10 years. Court is adjourned." Judge Thomas announced.

The executive producers of the Harvest Moon Record Company gave a cheer and a holler for her decisive victory, while a disappointed Griffin hung his head in shame. After everyone else left the courtroom behind, a rather impressed Muffy approached her former opponent.

"So… the rumors were true, after all. You really are quite the talented attorney, aren't you, Miss Gables?" Muffy complimented.

Ann rubbed the back of her head bashfully upon receiving her praise.

"Oh! Wow, really? I was honestly just going with my instinct, here! Just pure instinct! I didn't know the key to my success would be just that!" Ann replied humbly.

"Well, that was a long, hard battle we fought back there, and I believe you deserve a personal reward for your accomplishment." Muffy grinned.

"What is it?" Ann asked.

"How about some ice cream?"

"Oh! What flavor is it?"

"Boot To The Head."

"What?!"

Just then, the defeated attorney chucked a hard leather boot right at point blank, rendering the victorious defense attorney unconscious.

"Hey, Missy!" Griffin cried in a panic. "Why did you just do that? You could get in a lot of trouble!"

"Mr. Bradley, I believe that it's just between the two of us who have just bared witness to the offense, right?" Muffy smirked.

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, as long as we keep our lips sealed, then there's no trouble us! Let's go, Mr. Bradley. Perhaps we could appeal our case to a higher court." Muffy suggested.

Griffin's eyes looked back and forth between the unconscious attorney and his own. After pondering the situation, the former plaintiff shrugged and looked at Muffy with a decisive glance.

"Fair enough." he stated.

And thus, the courtroom door closed silently behind the, leaving a thoroughly unconscious Ann behind.

Later that night, Ann Gables, Ace Attorney, missed out on a rather extravagant party held in honor of the Harvest Moon Record Company's recent victory in court. No one bothered to question her reason of absence, nor the presence of a large, furry creature that helped itself to the endless supply of shrimp available.


End file.
